Friday, February 5, 2010

Fanged Friday


Mystic Falls 1864

Katherine: Damon, pretend you’re hurt here in the middle of the road in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night and we’ll wait for some unsuspecting coachman to approach and I’ll show you how to suck their blood. This will be fun! Who’s hungry!?

Damon: I uh… I…

Katherine: Kiss me.

Damon: But there’s man-blood all over your face. Let me wipe it off.

Katherine: Kiss my bloody mouth or I’ll kill you right now!
Damon: Well, when you put it like that…
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Present Day
Ben: Why did you choose me? Out of everyone to turn, why me?

Anna: Because I needed your help, and I thought you were cute.

Ben: Kiss me.

Anna: Ehh… I said I thought you were cute. But your usefulness has since proved, well, useless. You haven’t even found the witch’s spell book.

Ben: I’m not useless! That witch, Bonnie, is totally into me. I’ll seduce her and kidnap her and you’ll have your book!
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1864
Damon: Stefan, look how gracefully I can pull off the look of this time period. But you…

Stefan: I know! My eyebrows are too dark for my hair color and these high-waist trousers don’t do anything for my figure.

Daddy Salvatore: Cease this bickering now! Damon, you are such a disappointment.

Damon: Thank you, father. Now I will spend the rest of eternity trying my hardest to prove you right.
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Present Day
Damon: Look in my dazzling eyes. Can I trust Stefan?

Elena crosses fingers: Of course you can trust him. And your mind tricks won’t work. I’m wearing Essence of the Toxic Flower.

Damon: But you must admit, I am dazzling.

Elena: Yes… I’ll admit to that. Dude! You just grazed my boob!

Damon: Hey, I was just trying to get to the sink! Accidental boob graze!

Elena: That was not accidental.

Damon: Kiss me.

Elena: Darn! Stefan is here. Just… hold that thought.
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1864

Stefan: Why is Katherine writhing on the floor?! How did that happen?!

Daddy Salvatore: I’ve been feeding you the toxic flower! I knew you were a Vampire sympathizer! Where have I failed?

Stefan: Well, your first mistake was buying me these awful pants!

Daddy Salvatore: Burn the vamps!

Anna: No!

Emily: Shhh! I will protect them! One day, you and Damon will release them from their tomb!

Damon: This is all your fault, Stefan! I will never trust you again! For as long as we both shall live undead!

Stefan: Ditto!
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Present Day
Stefan: For the past 145 years, I’ve lost my brain and trusted Damon again and again. It’s never turned out well. He's just so much smarter than I am.

Elena: Dang. I forgot you were that old. That’s kind of gross.

Stefan: We must recover the spell book buried with my father. I know my legs can run faster than the eye can see, but my arms can’t seem to wield a shovel quite so quickly.

Damon: Well lookie, lookie. Give me the spell book, Stefan, or I’ll snap her pretty neck and you and I will both have a new vampire girlfriend. And BONUS, she looks just like our ex lover.

Elena: I am so SICK of hearing that! Can either of you just love me for ME?!

Stefan: Fine, Damon. Take the silly pink book and release your ex lover. You get Katherine, I have Elena, and we’ll both be happy.

Elena: Stefan, you saved me!

Stefan: He wouldn’t have killed you. He loves you. You look-

Elena: Like his ex lover, I KNOW. Kiss me.
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8 comments:

  1. CLASSIC! Fanged Fridays is my favroite!!!!

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  2. Daddy Salvatore...first he raised a sympathetic serial-killer in Dexter...now he's father to a pair of Vampires. Talk about type-casting.

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  3. LOL! You're so right about the pants. And, poor Damon this week. I have a secret crush on him, but shh... don't tell Stefan. ; )

    Happy Friday!

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  4. Haha I have to say I'm a Damon fan :)

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  5. LOL That is so funny. I was thinking the same thing when he was digging up the grave. I was like, come on, I know you can move faster than that. :) So funny. And Damon, he's so yummy. His eyes get me every time.

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  6. Yeah this episode was interesting with the outfits and their former personalities. I'm definitely on team Damon. :) I guess I'm just partial because of his days on LOST... and Smallville (wow he was so young and small back then!).

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