This has come up several times over the past week and I'm a bit surprised. I struggle with confidence. That's not the surprise. The surprise is that some people I know were surprised to learn that about me. Apparently I hide it well (I can only hope it doesn't come across as arrogance or something unsightly like that).
The truth is, I don't know if I've ever felt fully confident about anything. Even things I enjoy, or things I might do relatively well, I'm so hard on myself, I see the flaws and tear it to shreds (sometimes literally). With any job I've ever had, I get so nervous that they'll find out I actually don't know what I'm doing, that they'll give me duties that don't click in my brain. I'm not the only one that does this right?
I met with an old boss yesterday, and he asked me to come back. He kept talking me up, about how no one who came after me could compare, blah blah blah. I finally said, "You're making me nervous, because I feel like you got the wrong impression of the quality of my work..." Like I fooled him somehow. He laughed but I was serious.
Lately on my blog here, I've tried to have a positive outlook for this new year, and that's hidden my fear that I will fail, that I'm not good enough. It takes great effort to be positive, but I want to encourage all of you, and in the process, I need to keep talking myself into being more confident. Because I want to believe that I can do things I set my mind to. I want us all to believe it.
Anyone else struggle with confidence? What do you do to overcome doubts in your abilities?