Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Book Baby, and BABY Baby

My book baby has been out in the world since May 6th, which happens to be the last time I wrote on this blog. My mind has been elsewhere. Many elsewheres.

Let me tell you, it's a surreal feeling when you can walk into a bookstore and find a book that YOU wrote on the shelves. It's like one of those impossible, intangible life goals/dreams and when it really happens, your brain DOESN'T GET IT. Even when people stand in line at an event to get you to sign your name in said book, your brain DOESN'T GET IT. When someone tweets at you that they want to smoosh your book in their face; when a teenager emails you to say how much they loved your book; when you stumble on a review that says YOUR BOOK is their new FAVORITE contemporary YA... it brings tears to your eyes, but is it REALLY HAPPENING?

IT IS HAPPENING. AND IT'S WONDERFUL. I am thankful. I am grateful. I am humbled. I am inspired.

So this elsewhere my mind's been stuck in…  a person has been growing in my belly, and she's due to make her debut in less than two weeks. As I write this, she's wiggling around like an alien, and I'm struck by how odd this whole thing is. When we have a book coming out, we already know everything about it. What it looks like, feels like, smells like. We know everything. But this is just one giant mystery the whole way through. Thanks to ultrasounds, we know she will be a girl, but that's about it. What will she look like? Will her eyes be blue? Will she have my pointy nose? Will she be taller than me by the time she's in junior high?

I understand that she's coming soon, I know how this works. I've seen friends go through it. I have nephews. There really will be a baby at the end of this. But my brain DOESN'T GET IT. Despite how gigantic I am and how puffy my feet get when I stand for too long, I can't really comprehend being on the other side of this with a baby in my arms. I'm going to be a mother by the end of the month (as long as she's not late!), something I wasn't sure I'd get the chance to be.

And that's pretty incredible.

We'll see you on the other side!